Minute 1: Starts the match. La Scaloneta knows that if she does not achieve a victory against Mexico, the only thing left to do in this World Cup will be her suitcases.
Minute 5: Rodrigo de Paul disguises himself as Macri and attacks from the right. Alexis Vega, like a good Mexican, does the “Great Doña Florinda” and hits Montiel in the face as if he were the father of La Chilindrina, Don Ramón.
Minute 10: Messi looks for Lautaro Martínez, but the pass is imprecise. Lozano fails to overflow. The game is boring, it has less rhythm than a leak.
Minute 21: After 6 fouls in a row, the referee admonishes Araujo. Argentina wants to eat the rivals. But for the moment he is on a diet and Marcos Acuña swallows a kick from the Mexican defender.
Minute 28: New foul on Messi. Mexican soccer players have more faults than a gnocchi employee.
Minute 34: Corner kick for Argentina: Messi scores the cross but the Mexican defenders dress up as mariachis and thanks to those giant hats they manage to clear the ball: “Chanfle, fucking bastard!” they yell at him They are too dogs for such a flea.
Minute 39: Di María enables Lautaro Martínez who is more alone than Hitler in the “Sweetness Week”. Lautaro pays attention to Tusam when he said “it could fail”. And it fails.
Minute 45: Otamendi looks for Montiel and finds him behind 5 Mexican defenders with a “pass and die” face. The pass is too long and the ball goes over the end line. The second half is more likely to come before the first goal.
Minute 46: Alexis Mac Allister flashes being an NBA player and touches the ball with his hand. Free kick for Mexico. The ball goes more deflected than the Tower of Pisa.
Minute 57: Messi does not understand himself with Acuña and that they speak the same language. He looks for it with a pass that comes out longer than a bitch of a stutterer. Change in Argentina: Enzo Fernández enters for Guido Rodríguez
Minute 61: Free kick for Mexico: Vega puts the center in the area of the Scaloneta but for the health of the Argentines Otamendi clears.
Minute 63: Argentine goal! Messi puts his left foot and makes a “Mess” in the rival area to make it 1 to 0 for the National Team. He lowers the dollar, inflation, country risk and even the price of biscuits.
Minute 66: Scaloni and Martino agree to form a Together for Change in a World Cup version. To the double change in Mexico (Uriel Antuna enters for Alexis Vega and Raúl Jiménez for Kevin Álvarez) is added the double change in Argentina (Julián Álvarez enters for Lautaro Martínez; and Nahuel Molina for Gonzalo Montiel).
Minute 77: Héctor Herrera applies a kick worthy of Kung Fu Panda on Exequiel Palacios. It was for a card of the color of Chapulín Colorado.
Minute 83: The Katrina of fouls follows: Palacios’ foul on Antuna and at the touch of another similar one by the Mexican Roberto Alvarado on Lio Messi. All good with violence begets violence, Alvarado, but if you touch Messi he rots.
Minute 86: Argentine goal! InmEnzo Fernández looked for the far post of the Aztec goalkeeper with a great right hand à la Milei (from the right) for Argentina to win 2-0. It is celebrated in Qatar, Argentina and Bangladesh.
Minute 94: There is no additional time worth. Argentina wins and from the nightmare of the previous game we move on to the dream of qualifying. Full Time. Long live soccer.
