Anthony Hopkins can still vividly recall the precise moment he recognized he was on a perilous path. It was a realization that would fundamentally alter the trajectory of his life, pulling him back from the brink of addiction.
“I’m always a bit reluctant to talk about it because I don’t want to sound preachy,” Hopkins shared with The New York Times in an interview published this past Saturday. He recounted a specific incident from December 29, 1975, when he found himself in a blackout while driving. “But I was drunk and driving my car here in California during a blackout, having no idea where I was going, when I realized I could have killed someone, or myself—which I didn’t care about—and I realized I was an alcoholic.”
The epiphany struck him with startling clarity. “I came to consciousness and said to an ex-agent of mine at a party in Beverly Hills, ‘I need help,’” he continued. “It was 11 o’clock—I looked at my watch—and this is the unsettling thing: some thought or a deep, powerful voice spoke to me from within and said, ‘It’s over. Now you can start living. And everything has had a purpose, so don’t forget it for a moment.’”
When pressed for further explanation about this mysterious “voice,” Hopkins clarified that it emerged from "very deep within" him. He described it as “vocal, masculine, reasonable, like a radio voice.” The effect was immediate and profound. “The desire to drink was taken away, or it left,” he explained. “Now I have no more theories than divinity or that power we all possess within us that creates us from birth: the life force, whatever it is. It’s a consciousness, I believe. That’s all I know.”
As Hopkins prepares for the release of his upcoming memoir, “We Did OK, Kid,” scheduled to hit shelves on November 4, he has also opened up about another deeply personal aspect of his life: his estranged relationship with his daughter, Abigail. His wife, Stella Arroyave, had extended an invitation for Abigail to visit, but it was met with silence.
“Not a word of response,” Hopkins stated. “So I thought, okay, fine. I wish her the best, but I’m not going to shed my blood over it. If you want to waste your life holding a grudge, go ahead. It’s not on my horizon. I could carry the resentment from the past, but that’s death. That’s not living.” He emphasized the importance of acknowledging human imperfection. “You have to recognize one thing: that we are imperfect. We are not saints. We are all sinners and saints, or whatever we are. We do our best. Life is painful. Sometimes people get hurt. Sometimes we get hurt. But you can’t live like that. You have to say: Get over it.”
Hopkins concluded his thoughts on the matter with a pragmatic acceptance. “And if you can’t get over it, well, good luck. I have no judgment. But I did what I could. So that’s it. That’s all I want to say.” When asked if he hoped his daughter would read his memoir, he responded, “I’m not going to answer that. No. I don’t care.” Upon the journalist’s offer to move on from the topic, Hopkins admitted, “Please. I want you to. Because I don’t want to hurt her.”
Hopkins has been married three times. His first marriage was to Petronella Barker in 1966, with whom he shares his daughter Abigail. They separated in 1972. The following year, Hopkins married Jennifer Lynton. After separating from Lynton in 2002, he married Stella Arroyave in 2003.
Abigail, for her part, spoke to The Telegraph in 2006, indicating she might be open to a relationship with her father. “It would have to be mutual,” she said at the time. “I don’t know how I’d feel about it. We’ve never been truly close. We’ve never talked about the big issues in life. Because, well, our relationship was always very sporadic. I never felt I could talk about those kinds of things with him.”
She expressed her affection while also asserting her own independence. “I love my father very much. He’s been very supportive. I truly wish him the best. But I’ve found some independence through my music. I need to give myself that time, to step out of the shadow.”