The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Jessi Ngatikaura has offered a starkly different account of her marriage to Jordan Ngatikaura, revealing details of alleged blackmail, emotional abuse, and infidelity that she claims were not fully disclosed on screen. Her candid interview on The Viall Files podcast on Wednesday, November 19, laid bare the hidden truths behind the narrative presented on the reality series.
Ngatikaura, 33, confessed to a two-week emotional affair with Marciano Brunette of Vanderpump Villa, a storyline that unfolded during Season 3 of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, which premiered on Thursday, November 13. However, her podcast revelations painted a more disturbing picture of her marital struggles and what truly transpired off-camera.
Central to Ngatikaura’s new testimony was her claim that she was not separated from Jordan when he discovered her involvement with Brunette. This directly contradicted the narrative Jordan had allegedly instructed her to present publicly. According to Ngatikaura, she lived with Jordan during her emotional affair. He reportedly told her, "If anyone finds out, we have to say we were separated, so it won’t be as bad," aiming to mitigate public perception.
The truth eventually came out, with Ngatikaura stating Jordan later insisted they "tell the truth" to avoid being caught in a lie. However, the period leading up to this disclosure was fraught with conflict. Ngatikaura revealed that for six months, they secretly dealt with the infidelity, a period during which Jordan allegedly blackmailed her. He threatened to expose her text messages with Marciano to the world, a detail Ngatikaura claims was discussed for the show but ultimately edited out.
She described his behavior as "so toxic," recalling how he would save drafts on TikTok and threaten to publish them whenever she disagreed with him. She vividly recounted the day she left him, describing a scene where he filmed her and mocked her, leading to a desperate chase and yelling within their home. "It was horrible," she stated.
Ngatikaura disclosed that the emotional abuse from Jordan echoed similar experiences in her first marriage to Zach. She noted, "My muscle memory is being used to being yelled at. I remember when I first got married, there were really tough times." Her first husband, Zach, was "very emotionally abusive; I would say even more than Jordan, to be honest." While Jordan’s abuse manifested in different ways, the familiarity of such behavior made it feel "normal" in her second marriage, though it eventually escalated to the same severe level.
Ngatikaura acknowledged moving on "too quickly" from her first marriage, marrying Jordan within months of her separation. She admitted she used the new relationship as a "distraction" rather than taking time to heal from the previous trauma. Her first marriage to Zach, initially seen as a "safe option" with a "good Mormon boy," deteriorated when he began using drugs, stopped working, and developed anger issues. Despite her ex-husband remarrying and being "sealed" in the Mormon church, Ngatikaura’s own attempts to break her seal have been rejected, contributing to what she calls "religious trauma."
Ngatikaura suggested that her growing financial success may have played a role in Jordan’s behavior. As a multi-millionaire from her hair product company, JZ Styles, she observed, "From my point of view, the more success I had, perhaps Jordan felt somewhat threatened because he was no longer the provider." She speculated that this dynamic, particularly within a culture where men are often expected to be primary providers, led Jordan to feel threatened. He subsequently quit his job, and Ngatikaura believes his lack of purpose significantly influenced how he treated her.
The emotional control Jordan exerted extended to everyday life. Ngatikaura described constant scrutiny over her clothes, actions, words, and even work hours. Minor infractions, like leaving the refrigerator door open, would lead to yelling, causing her "PTSD" when the alarm sounds. "I felt like I was always walking on eggshells with Jordan. I could never do anything right," she lamented. She further alleged that Jordan shamed her as a mother, insulted her, and physically blocked her during arguments, with these instances sometimes witnessed by their children.
The breaking point came when Jordan began telling their children about their impending divorce. Ngatikaura recognized the severe emotional damage this inflicted. "This is very damaging, and we cannot allow our children to witness this. We cannot use them as pawns," she realized. She described the separation as "truly terrible" due to the intense yelling and its visible effect on her children.
Despite reaching a more stable place, the affair initially caused significant turmoil, particularly for Jordan’s public image. According to Ngatikaura, Jordan was primarily concerned with how the infidelity made him look, repeatedly using the word "emasculating." She concluded, "He felt ashamed of being cheated on. He felt less of a man because of it, and it wasn’t about the act itself, but how it made him look."
Ngatikaura also clarified her public use of the surname Draper instead of Ngatikaura, stating it was for ease of pronunciation and professional branding, unrelated to her marital status. Jordan Ngatikaura is expected to share his side of the story on The Viall Files podcast on Wednesday, November 27.