Stop suffering

-Tell us your testimony, brother …

-I feel weird, Pastor. Rarer than a vitel thoné ice cream, rarer than a chess barrabrava, rarer than a bullet man involved in an easy trigger case, rarer than Chaqueño Palavecino singing L-gante songs, more confused than Máxima Zorreguieta in the 113 stop that goes to San Justo with the SUBE card with a negative balance …

-Don’t worry, brother, you are in the right place. In this Cenacle of the Holy Spirit we have the solution, our job is to help those who suffer and need to be freed from all kinds of problems. And you were telling us that you feel weird …

-That’s right, Pastor, rarer than seeing Tolo Gallego talking about the properties of monochlorodifluoromethane, rarer than seeing Tarzan trying on a joggineta in a shopping mall or rarer than seeing the Caniggia brothers reading Sartre’s complete works.

-Yes, I understood that. That you are weird …

-Weirder than Pope Francis asking for a delivery of ostia for Sunday mass, weirder than María Kodama in a paraavalancha embraced by one of the Drunkards of the Board …

-And hit with that! Finish the comparisons now, bro. And tell us more specifically about your suffering, that here we will free you from that spiritual slavery that torments you … We will say no to anguish! We will say enough to sadness and grief! We will tell you … Stop suffering!

-It is precisely that is what makes me feel strange. Since last night I have nothing more to suffer. We qualified for the World Cup 4 dates before finishing the qualifying rounds. La Scaloneta has been undefeated for 27 games, the drawn Martinez goal has about 500 minutes without conceding goals. I don’t know, I was used to another reality, to suffer until the last minute of the last qualifying date. You do not know what we Argentines always suffer to classify. Even with Maradona at his best, with sharp Bilardo and more than experienced players, we had to suffer to qualify for the ’86 World Cup, which in the end we won. And for the 94 World Cup? After the beating that Colombia gave us 5 to 0 we had to go with our tail between our legs to play a repechage against Australia … And that Basile team had come out of America’s champion twice in a row …

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-I don’t understand much of what you’re talking about, brother. But have confidence that Jesus is with you …

-What Jesus? Gabriel Jesús, the one who came through Cunha last night with 5 minutes to go before the game ended? And what can that chabón do if he couldn’t do anything to change the result. Come in, Pastor, I don’t need to come to this joint anymore. I no longer have reasons to suffer. At least until the Qatar World Cup begins, of course. By the way? You who have already qualified, maybe you know how much a ticket from here to Qatar costs me? Something quiet, cheap, Flybondi wave but international. And now that I’m going to save the tithe that I pay you for coming here, I think I’m just right …

-Voe confuses everything, brother.

-Ah… did the tithe hurt you, didn’t it?

-Voce you are wrong. Your life is full of problems and reasons to suffer: you are Argentine … And Satan will gradually take over your country.

-Not at all. That Milei has removed 2 deputies I do not care. You have Bolsonaro as president, is there anything worse than that?

-You are confused, brother. But I have the solution: the sacred oil that heals everything …

-Brazil, tell me what it feels like …

-Stop it, bro. You are weird …

-Of course, rarer than an astronaut with vertigo, rarer than a scandal without Wanda Nara as the protagonist … rarer than …

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