Former Bachelor contestant Rachael Kirkconnell has opened up about her sex life, revealing a prolonged period of celibacy. Kirkconnell, 29, shared her personal status during the October 16 episode of the "Extra Dirty" podcast.
"I feel like a virgin again," Kirkconnell stated on the podcast. "I haven’t had sex in a lot longer than you think. It’s been years."
She explained to host Hallie Batchelder that after such an extended time without physical intimacy, she is now seeking a profound experience. Kirkconnell emphasized she does not want to "just give herself to anyone." Instead, she wants her next sexual encounter to be "incredible."
"I think that’s why I’m a romantic girl," she continued. "Because I feel like when we were in high school. You know how everyone makes losing your virginity such a big deal? And it’s like, ‘Lose it to someone special?’ That’s how I feel. I’m like, ‘I can’t just give it to anyone.’ I want it to be special."
Kirkconnell and former Bachelor Matt James, 33, ended their four-year relationship in January of this year. The couple originally met during Season 25 of The Bachelor, which aired in 2021. James publicly announced their split on Instagram, a move Kirkconnell later claimed occurred just three hours after their breakup while they were on vacation in Tokyo.
"I think I’ve come to the conclusion a lot of it wasn’t my fault, or my problem," Kirkconnell said on a January episode of the "Call Her Daddy" podcast, discussing her perspective on the separation. "It wasn’t totally my fault. It wasn’t 100 percent my fault."
Since her split from James, Kirkconnell has been "chronically single." She has not gone on any dates or used dating applications. While she clarified she doesn’t "judge" those who seek love online, she isn’t sure that approach would "work" for her.
Kirkconnell also disclosed that she believes she might be demisexual. Batchelder read the definition of demisexuality, describing it as "a sexual orientation where a person experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with another person." Kirkconnell responded, "I think that’s me."
She elaborated that while she can acknowledge physical attractiveness in someone, their personality is paramount. A negative personality would "totally gross [her] out," making her unwilling to be intimate. "I guess attraction only goes so far," she said. "Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t know."
Kirkconnell then suggested that "everyone" should consider being demisexual, calling it "such a healthy thing to do." When asked about attraction to women, she stated, "I don’t think so, I don’t know," but acknowledged, "Everything’s a spectrum, right?"
She reaffirmed how strongly she identifies with the demisexual philosophy of requiring an "emotional connection" before engaging in sex. "I don’t think I could just go home with anyone," she noted. "I have to feel safe and comfortable with that person and be emotionally involved at least to the extent of where I could see us dating, or at least have a crush… I guess it’s not physical attraction."